This Week's 'Ripped from the Headlines...'

So, as I sit in my office working up a case that I'm none too thrilled about, I have decided to dedicate this post to celebrity criminal gossip...

And the obvious target, at least according to TMZ, is the Charlie Sheen debacle. And with good reason- there's coke, a hooker, and the basic shennanigans we have come to love from Emilio's bro. The only thing missing is that stupid kid from 2.5 men doing rails off of another hooker and stabbing a hobo. Then, and only then, I suppose I would dive in to the drama.

As it stands now, however, I'm going to let TMZ continue to cover that a few (nine hundred) times a day.

Of course, I could also lend a legal opinion in the ongoing Mel Gibson saga. But, sadly, I am far from a family law expert. As the saying goes, family lawyers represent good people acting on their worst behavior, and criminal lawyers represent bad people acting on their best. I am the latter, and I am not going to pretend like I know anything about that aspect of practice.

(I will continue to listen to any and all voice mails from Mad Max, nonetheless.)

And then there's everyone's favorite African American vampire slayer, Wes Snipes who is undergoing some tax problems. Yes it's criminal, but I'll be frank with you, readers: I know nothing about federal practice, let alone federal criminal tax cases. So in an effort to avoid looking like a moron, I will abstain.

I thought I had nothing, until, like a vision in my dreams, I came across this story:

Jim Morrison to be considered for a Gubernatorial Pardon

Now, let me be frank yet again- I am by no means a "The Doors" fan. Yes, I suppose they were a good band, and yes they were influential, but I just never got that in to them.

Still, post conviction relief is always interesting to me, and especially for a charge that if similarly situated in my state of practice would be a life sentence.

The misdemeanor to which I am referring is California Penal Code Section 314(1), or indecent exposure. Us attorneys with no class refer to it generally as "weenie waggling." Yes, yes we are mature.

In any event, in order to be guilty of this charming little offense, the District Attorney is required to prove that you:
1. Willfully exposed your junk in the presence of people who would be offended. I guess this would be the "stripper exception," and
2. When exposed, you acted "lewdly" by intending to direct public attention to your junk for the purpose of sexually gratifying yourself or sexually offending another.

Yes, this is a misdemeanor offense, but as I mentioned above it is a life sentence because if convicted here in California, you are required to become a sex registrant, for LIFE. Which is a serious commitment, because, you know, it's for life.

I would assume the Jim Morrison avoided this requirement as his act happened in Florida.

Still, people were clearly offended at the time, and I'm sure he copped the plea to the misdemeanor just to get it over with.

Now, however, in an extremely belated effort to seem "hip with the kids," Governor Crist seems to want to unburden the ghost of the rocker.

Don't get me wrong, I love it when post-conviction relief happens, just because it is so rare. Sadly, a lot of defendants can't stay out of trouble, and even if they do, sometimes expungement, or in the rare case a pardon, is a steep uphill battle.

So I guess what I'm hoping is that even though this little tidbit is more or less a superfluous story, it impacts those intricately involved in the system to reevaluate the role of government in recognizing those who truly have been rehabilitated.